I can't believe 2009 is almost over, it hasn't been a bad year but it also hasn't been very good. I'm so glad this year @ school is going by at a steady rate (sorta), I am so psyched to be graduating from this prison known as highschool and move on to education that matters in college. I feel these past 4 yrs have been utter HELL, headache, sorrow, joy and stress ridden. Sound right? Sure I've made a few friends I may never see or talk to again but I am trying to keep as close as time allows and sure this h.s. career really sucked in direction, I had to figure out so many things on my own and I feel h.s. has really stunted my educational growth rather than help it. I feel I've lost a true passion for art but I still want to pursue at least a minoring career choice in the field, I'll probably major in something else, what I'm not quite sure of yet but in time I hope to figure it out. I'll be going to a local college to "grow-up" a little before spending the big big $$ and get super serious at a grad school or something. I know I still have about 5 months of h.s. and I'm alreadyhalfway through my last season of bowling. I am heartbroken b/c I'll be leaving people I like and this year we actually have a serious coach.

In terms of social issues and bowling I was in a rut after the season officilly started but I seemed to have pulled out of it. I have much much room for improvement but that doesn't bother me since I love the game so much. I want to continue to play as much as I can whether it be official or casual. I'm supposed to be getting a new ball after having the coolest ball for 2 yrs now, I'll have to semi-retire my Pepsi ball and get a "real" ball soon. Along with those thoughts I've also been feeling underappreciated by some "friends" which I so generously help out in terms of transportation to practice and I feel very taken advantaged of. I've got to lay down some "law" and possibly risk the friendship but honestly it may be for the better, if they were true friends they wouldn't use me or tell me false promises and just worry about themselves. I think these personal thoughts are affecting my sleep pattern, my brain being anxious is causing me to lose my precious sleeping time. I've gone from about 56-70 hrs a week of sleep to about 20-35 hrs a week of sleep. I'm so sad and also hope I don't get sick b/c less sleep means I'm more prone to getting sick. Not cool yo..

I guess that's all I have to say right now, losing sleep as I write this and hoping the rest of this year goes okay. Here's to 2010, a better year all around hopefully. Before that though, here's to a hopeful christmas season not based on material goods as it seems to lay focus on but to remember how lucky we are to have all we have, to know the people we have known for a short time or for all your life and to remember things could be worse, so appreciate everything no matter how silly or little it seems. Most importantly remember to love, forgive and dream to make the world a better place in anyway "you" can do personally.